My brother uses our time on the phone to send messages to others
Dear The Inmate Connection,
My brother has been in prison for about two years. I don’t make a lot of money, but I make him a priority and always keep money on the phone. However, it seems like almost every call I have with him, he’s asking to “text this person” or “send a message on Facebook to that person” …. I don’t think he understands that I don’t want to put money on the phone to talk to him, only to help with random requests for other people? It is very frustrating but I’m apprehensive about mentioning something because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable calling me.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for your question! We have received a few inquiries with similar questions to yours. You are so kind and generous to consistently keep phone money available for your brother to call you. We certainly can relate to the financial strain these calls can cause. Of course, it is understandable for you to want to spend this time on the phone talking to your brother exclusively about things that pertain to you and your brothers’ interests. Although you are apprehensive to talk to your brother about this, there are certainly ways you can express your thoughts and feelings without coming off as rude. You can reassure your brother that you enjoy your calls, but that money is tight and maybe his friends can use their phone time, or ask other inmates to send their messages. Some of our former inmates on our advice panel have mentioned that often times, inmates will trade small canteen items, such as soups, soaps, or envelopes for small favors… like passing messages for inmates who don’t have phone privileges or the funds or calls. One inmate on our team recalled giving his dessert off of his tray each night to send messages to his family that didn’t have money to call. Of course, each situation is different… your inmate might benefit from passing messages or he might not, but the reasoning for passing messages truly doesn’t change the fact that you’re uncomfortable with it. At the Inmate Connection, we try to shed light on various perspectives because we have all “been there.” But, it is important that your feelings are a priority. Our best advice would be to have a friendly, open and honest conversation about this…. Your brother will understand!
Sincerely,
The Inmate Connection