My dad is Being Released After Being in Prison Most of my Life

The Inmate Connection,

I am 20 years old, my dad has been incarcerated for most of my life.  I have visited him a few times (he is in New York and I live in Florida) so most of our communication has been through mail and over the phone. Now that my dad is getting out of prison I am hoping to gain more of a “ normal” relationship with him. I am wondering what I can do to help us have a good relationship after his prison sentence. 

Sincerely,

Anonymous 

Anonymous,

   Congratulations on your dad coming home! Children are often the silent victims when adults go to prison. It is wonderful that you are excited to build a new relationship with your father. There is so much you can do to help…. Communicate with your dad about his release plans. Talk about what you’d like to do with him, and be honest about wanting to gain a more meaningful relationship with him. Our best advice is not to feel any pressure, or set unrealistic expectations for yourself or your dad. Depending on his parole situation, his ability to travel might be limited. It sounds like you and your dad have both put fourth the time and energy into maintaining a meaningful relationship during his incarceration, you both will undoubtedly do the same when he is released. You mentioned wanting a “normal” relationship with your dad…. Everyone has their own version of “normal.” You and your dad will have whole new normal soon, but don’t feel pressured to figure out what that is right away. It is absolutely alright to set clear boundaries for yourself and not be your parent’s go-to person for everything as they readjust. Feel free to craft an unconventional relationship. It if works for you two, it works. Try hard not to stress about creating a “normal” bond, but create a bond that works for you both! 

Sincerely, 

The Inmate Connection